I have just read a book by George A Bonanno: The Other Side of Sadness; What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss (Basic Books, 2009).

I read this with interest as I am aware how little we are taught how to grieve;  or even how to go about grief work.  Someone dies and the family varyingly suck it up, experience depression or enter  into struggle.

Dr. Bonanno found that grief work in the west was quite different from grief work in the east. 

In the west, as a culture we tend not to have any ritual beyond the typical  funeral.  There is nothing typical in the options and choices folks have with that.  After the “funeral” how a person copes and what community and society expects of the bereaved, is fairly silent but laden with expectation of getting back to “normal.”  What ever normal is!!

In the east, in particular in China where Dr. Bonanno had partnered in grief research, he described a culture that in spite of Communist efforts to shut it down, there continues...

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These two words caught my attention and I have been ruminating about them recently.  They suggest a place, an abode.  It also implies a condition within.

Where do you abide in your spiritual self? 

Do you actually “run” as far and as fast as you can from this experience of being?   Do you only experience it on the two times a year that churches are thronged with people, Christmas and Easter services?  Or do you find it “out in nature” in the total spirituality of Nature? 

There are many paths to becoming awakened.  No one path is right or more true than another—they all lead to an individual becoming awakened to the truth of who they truly are. 

Whatever path you do choose, you will find that along the way little hints, or guidance, were on your path.  There are more energies, angels, or agents of Spirit that are called on to help you, to guide you; Legions of them.

Be alert to such guidance; it can lead to surprising discoveries.  Whether you actually choose to engage in...

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Ego, the great betrayer, AKA Wile E Coyote. Ever watch the Saturday morning cartoons of old called “the Road Runner”? There was a road runner “Beep, Beep” and there was Wile E Coyote. This was a Loonie Tune production created by Chuck Jones that can still be found on the internet.

I believe Wile E Coyote is a fantastic representative of the ego. There is nothing that Wile E Coyote will not do in his efforts to capture...

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What keeps you from being still?  Do you even want to experience peace?  Is peace something you grasp for but it constantly eludes you? Is the lack of peace a source of stress in your life?



Wanting peace and looking for peace is a belief that there is something wrong with your present experience or condition and wanting something different.  You are looking at your life in that moment as not acceptable to what you want and you wish it were different: Where I am now is not where I want to be.



What if you looked at that moment in a different way.  That it was was unfolding perfectly even in the midst of chaos or crises.  Crises is unfolding, and it can be hell and struggle or it can be unfolding perfectly and you are safe and you can feel peaceful in that moment.  It is a matter of trusting that it is so and living from that trust.



Finding inner peace is a matter of choice, a decision point to accept what is. That what ever is going on is just stuff and you are okay. ...

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He had gotten caught up in a cult. His family engaged to have him “rescued”. As he was reintegrated back into family and community his counselor suggested to him that he take a break from it all, to find himself. He sure did. That was years ago and he is still taking a break from God!

How do we all take a break from Higher Power? We do it in so many ways: skipping church to engage in late morning snuggles, or to go fishing, or to go do anything else but be in church where Higher Power is to be found. At least that is the idea that many people have that Higher Power is only contained in church or synagogue or chapel or temple.

JUDGEMENT—it is all about you, what you did, what you said. Blame, rejection, separation, isolation. How I respond to what you said and did. The judgment goes back and forth and yet, it is all about you! It is all about me! The stronger part, of this is that it does not even require words; just a tone of voice, a signal of body language adds volume to the exchange.

There is a place for judgment, in school grounds, those who have responsibility for our children’s safety in the playground; those in law enforcement juggling the laws of the land and the community’s safety. There are other examples for certain!

The most common arena for judgment is person to person, then groups, which are an extension of personal judgments.

I have a friend who was formerly a vocal Democrat in his political leanings. Then the Bill Clinton affair came on. Meanwhile my friend was busily cheating on his wife. All his judgments about himself, his own betrayal of his marriage are revealed in his political rejection of...

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Ever since I read Daniel Goleman’s  Emotional Quotient (Bantam, 1995), I have been mindful of the break down in society that manifests in the schools.  Bullying, rejection, peer pressure, shunning, teasing, and other behaviors that are manifestation of people hurting people—in the grade schools! Self-mutilation, suicide, murder, separation, loneliness and isolation have been some of the costs of this. 

Early this fall I was an adult participant at Sedro-Woolley High School in their Challenge Day program.  I participated in one of the three days as the entire freshman class of Sedro Woolley High School experienced this program.  Challenge Day was also occurring simultaneously in the Mt. Vernon High School.

I witnessed bullies hugging their victims; of those who thought they were superior hugging those they had scorned; of those paying a high price to belong finding they were no longer willing to pay that price.  I saw those who felt hopeless find hope.  Others bridged separation of class from senior...

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